Breadcrumb

  1. Harry S. Truman
  2. Educational Resources
  3. Student Resources
  4. Wedding and Courtship
  5. Cousin Recalls Courtship of Harry and Bess

Cousin Recalls Courtship of Harry and Bess

By Ardis R. Haukenberry (Cousin of Harry Truman)
Independence Examiner, Truman Centennial Edition, May 1984

My memories of Cousin Harry begin early.

Cousin Harry visited our home often, especially when he began his courtship of the pretty young lady, Miss Bess Wallace, who lived across the street. They had met as children at the First Presbyterian Church and he never forgot her. After their high school graduation (1901), he was here one day and said to his Aunt Ella (my grandmother) he'd surely like to see Bess again.

Grandmamma told him there was a plate still here on which a cake had been brought over and not yet returned. If he would take it across the street, just maybe, Bess might come to the door. She did and from then on the romance flourished, the other suitors Bess had simply vanished. He sometimes spent the night at our house after a late date.

The romance never had the approval of Bess's mother, Mrs. David W. Wallace. She much preferred one more established and better off financially. She never thought Harry would be anything more than a farmer, and being from eastern forebearers, she feared for a hard life for her only daughter.

After the wedding, Harry tried hard to appease her, but with scant success. It was hard on both (really on three) that Mrs. Wallace had to be with them in Washington. She kept to herself as much as possible with the loyal maid (Vietta Garr) and Bess, Harry and Margaret to themselves.

Many people agreed with Mrs. Wallace, even in high school. Mrs. Palmer, one of Harry's teachers, said that Harry's brother, Vivian, was more likely to succeed than Harry. Miss Matilda (Tillie) Brown thought otherwise and when Harry became president, she was one of the people he called. 

There were several cousins in the Truman line - four Colgans, three Trumans, three Nolands, another Truman, Ralph, and others in Texas we didn't know. The local ones had many good times together, often at the Truman farm in Grandview.

Harry had a very special doorbell ring, turning the handle three times. When we three young ones (my brother, sister and I) heard that, we came running, knowing we'd have lots of fun and music. Two of Cousin Harry's favorite pieces were "Spring Song" and "Melody in F." He had had piano lessons but generally just played by ear. He adored our little sister, Jodie, and when she was about 4, he set her beside him on the piano bench and taught her to play "Chopsticks." When Jodie was married, Margaret Truman, then 4 years old, served as flower girl.

One very happy memory is an afternoon when he came back from Washington and brought Margaret across the street to visit. Their repartee was fun to hear. Cousin Harry loved his family and connections. Once while campaigning in Texas, he stopped to look up other Trumans. There were his uncle's children whom none of us knew. But he couldn't get much interest in his long dead relatives. He joked Aunt Ethel about genealogy, telling her to "be careful what she might find on the family tree." But he was proud to join the Sons of the American Revolution when her research proved him eligible for membership.

After he became president, he asked Aunt Ethel's help in answering letters of inquiry from most of the states and several countries, hoping to prove a relationship. Some proved to be kin; some did not. Aunt Ethel had been working on the genealogy long before Cousin Harry became nationally known. One of the things she found in her research was what we called "the scalping story." The myth had developed that Nancy Tyler Holmes, our great-great-grandmother, had been "scalped by the Indians." This always brought out the story from our grandmother that she remembered having brushed the long beautiful hair of the lady. She could not have been scalped. It was one of those myths that gather around old families and are passed on, growing a little with each repetition.