Grandview, Mo.
May 9, 1911
Dear Bessie:
You may be very, very sure that your letters cannot possibly come too often or too regular for me. They are the most pleasant and agreeable (to me at least) of all the correspondence or reading I do. So there, if it pleases you any to have me say it. I am glad you have laid in a good stock of stationery and hope you'll continue to use some of it on me.
Speaking of that calf. It had the impudence to come up and look at me through the window a day or two ago and then kick up and bawl, as much as to say, "See what he got for monkeying with the bandwagon." He had three or four more calves of his own age with him. I have the sincere satisfaction of knowing that he will someday grace a platter-perhaps my very own. He is a very obstreperous individual in the cow world anyway. They have had to put a chain on the young man to be able to handle him at all. And he doesn't weigh over three hundred pounds. Calves are like men, some have sense-and some have not. Evidently he has not as he can never find his meals unless someone is kind enough to assist him. Even then he's ungrateful, as behold what he did to me. I only grabbed his tail and made a wild grab for his ear in order to guide him around properly when he stuck his head between my legs, backed me into the center of the lot, and when I went to get off threw me over his head with a buck and a bawl and went off seemingly satisfied, I guess, for I didn't look. I set up a bawl of my own. Uncle Harrison says there is more honor in having a fine calf boost you skyward and break your leg than to have a plug horse do it. (He was heaving a brick at Pap I think and so I don't take much stock in it.) Well hang the calf anyway. I hope I never am unlucky enough to meet another the same way.
Mamma gave me her prescription for dipping chickens and it's a dinger I tell you. She says it won't hurt the chickens and if it don't it sure ought to get the other fellows.
She takes twist tobacco and steeps it in hot water as if you were making tea. Put in cold water enough to cover the hen and make it the right temperature. Then she puts in a tablespoonful of melted grease. She says she puts her hand over the Chicken's bill and eyes and then souses him good. Young and old alike can go through this process without harm. She says she takes four twists of tobacco to one bucket of water. Now if you can get a clear idea of that recipe it is more than I can after reading it. But it will make chickens healthy, although I wouldn't fancy the job of dipping them. Be sure and pick a warm day to do it.
My opinion of Dickens is not so rosy as it was. I read David Copperfield with delight and not a stop. I was so pleased I started immediately on Dombey & Sons, read a hundred pages and have read the Manxman, the Pursuit of the Houseboat on the Styx, and Lorna Doone and still have 500 or 600 pages of Dombey to read. Oliver Twist must have done you the same way. Lorna Doone is a fine story but written in such a style that it takes about 700 pages to tell what might be told in 250 with ease. I have nothing to do but read and so I waded through it. I guess I'll even get Dombey read before I get up for good. I stood up on one foot yesterday and this morning but was mighty glad to get back in bed. The doctor is going to bring me some crutches the last of the week and then it won't be long till I can hop around.
My good friend, the cashier of Bank of Belton, bought him a new seven passenger auto the other day. He was in to see me yesterday evening and said he would be around and drive me over the country soon as I am able. So if you see me drive up in a big auto you'll know it is not mine, though I'd almost give ten years off my ninety-year existence for one and call it a good bargain. I don't believe Esau would have been blamed if he had sold his birthright for an auto in place of something to eat do you? Jacob was an ornery Jew or he wouldn't have taken it anyway. (I mean the birthright, not the auto.)
I am sorry to hear of Everett Hall's death but I guess he is better off, poor boy. I went to school with him in Miss Myra Ewin's room at the Noland School. He and Cleve started together.
I thank Miss Dicie for her remembrance and am glad you beat her so badly. I would like to hear her tell how it was. Ethel (the mean thing) has not appeared on the scene yet. I bet she is aiming to make off with your book. I shall certainly give her a piece of my mind when I lay eyes on her.
Nellie wrote me a letter not long ago and said she went to some entertainment with the Doctor. Now I am simply dying to know who the Doctor is. I wrote and asked her but she simply ignored the question. Can you tell me? I hope he's some nice decent chap. Next to my own sister I am more interested in who those two girls go with.
I hope your chickens will continue to live and that mamma's strenuous dip will do you some good.
Keep on writing oftener and more regularly and please me more and more.
Sincerely, Harry.