Grandview, Mo.
May 23, 1911
Dear Bessie:
I guess there is nothing for me to do but wait until I am able and then remove Ethel's wig. I sure thought I was consigning your book and Life to a safe messenger when I gave them to her. Vivian hasn't said a word about them to me. I shall corner him tonight. I have an idea a certain lady friend of his could tell me where they are if he doesn't. I shall try and make reparation for the book anyway if it doesn't eventually reach you.
I have enjoyed Nicanar immensely. I suppose it depicts Norman life realistically but I like for them to be more cheerful about it. I am going to read the book again. I found out the name of a Roman Emperor that history never says anything about in it. He really existed too. You see I haven't anything to do but run down historic rumors, and every book I read since I have been laid up that mentions anyone at all in history I never heard of causes me to look him up. I always forget him five minutes afterwards but I have the satisfaction of knowing [who] he was anyway.
I really wish Rex Beach would do something with that Ne'er-Do-Well and be done with it. It makes you feel like the end of the year instead of the middle the way he draws it out.
I've an idea the poor boy'll lose his job now and his girl and then have a love feast with her old man, come back and get the girl and the Pennsylvania Railroad and live happily until alimony time. What do you think?
Mary's (mine also) cousin in Texas sent her two horned toads in a box by mail the other day. She thought it was a box of pills. It was all wrapped up and very small. You ought to have heard her squawk when she opened the box. You know they have tails and horns on their heads (their tails are not on their heads) and are furious looking little brutes, but are harmless. They feast on flies, ants, etc. I don't see how these two lived for the box was air-tight.
Mary and Vivian went to the Ruskin High School Commencement Thursday night. Said it was fine.
I guess they are all fine the first few times but when very many pass they get old don't you think? They sure must be getting nifty in Independence if the ushers wanted to wear claw hammer coats. That's spreading things thick. The Kansas City Post has offered ten dollars for the prettiest graduation dress not to cost over five dollars. Do you suppose one can be made for that?
That rain was the finest thing this year. If it hadn't come we would have gone to the wall sure enough. Now we expect to raise something anyway. I hate rainy days generally but these last ones sure looked good to me.
I have an illustration of what happens to people who set grocery store eggs. I am enclosing it. Did any of yours come out that way? Literature, etc., do not go very well with poultry, do they? One good gang of poultry does more for the country though than all the art Charles Yerkes could buy. You know I think a man artist or pianist is the last thing on earth. They do no good for themselves or anyone else. I never did see one who paid his debts if there was any way to avoid it. That shows his artistic temperament, that, a lot of long hair and a kangaroo walk. Sometimes they go dingy or get two or three divorces. That also is a temperamental sign. Some French artist says that geniuses are insane anyway. I guess he is right in some cases anyway. It is all right to be an artist or pianist if you are a real genius like Lhevinne or Hofmann or Turner or Whistler, but the ordinary run of everyday artists and pianists who imitate these men won't do.
I really thought once I'd be an ivory tickler but I am glad my money ran out before I got too far. Who knows, maybe I"ll be a Cincinnatus and be elected constable someday.
If you had called up the other day I'd have made it to the phone some way. I can get around the house to some extent. Soon as ever I can persuade the M.D. to take the cast off I'll do fine. I hope you'll consider this worthy an answer. I'd like to see [illegible] Smith. I bet it's fine. This is the end of my stationery.
Sincerely, Harry