Grandview, Mo.
October 27, 1911
Dear Bessie:
Pipe de stationery. Mary got very tired of my using hers so I had to invest. I never have time to wait for an initial and I always think I'll never be in town for a month (I am generally back in a couple of days), so I just take it as it comes.
It seems that I did not even get in on the forty-dollar claims. I never could draw anything though. Not even the lady I wanted. You see I am born under Neptune or some other far distant and unlucky star. I guess it's good for me that I haven't Houch's pessimistic disposition. It seems best to be silly and grow fat. Just keep imagining that my luck will change someday.
We are in one fine flurry out here today. I wish I had an omnibus or a moving van. There will be six cousins and an uncle for me to haul tomorrow, besides all the family. Papa and I bought out the butcher shop in Grandview this morning. He decided that we could not kill a pig until next week, so we had to stock up. He sold seventeen dozen pimpkins (not pumpkins) in K.C. yesterday. One of the hired men is going to take them in tomorrow morning. He'll leave here at 4:00 a.m. Wouldn't you like the job?
We have about a carload the messy pie fruit so we won't starve this winter if we have to live on nothing but pumpkin pie. Dockstader says he just hates to eat pumpkin pie because it musses up his ears so. He has enormous ears, and I don't blame him for being shy of getting them mussed up because it is a job to thoroughly clean an ordinary pair. I went to town with Ruth this morning. She said for me to kiss the bride for her. Aunt Ella told me to do it for her and I'll have to do it for myself. I'll get her between Vivian and me so he can't sock me one during the operation. Don't you feel sorry for that poor girl? I wish I'd thought and grown me a nice soup strainer. There is a man out here who has one that he can tie behind his neck. A man with such a mustache ought to be in Barnum's show nowadays.
I am sorry that Miss Nellie's rich friends had to come on next Sunday. If you'd all have come out we could have a toy charivari (Is that how you spell it?) Pete and his frau will be here to dinner. It is the custom of the creeks and hollows to have one of those barbarous things whenever anyone gets married. I guess everyone in South Jackson County will come to this one. I went to one once and got a good enamel dishpan belonging to the man's mother and simply beat it to death. She is the third cousin of mine by marriage and I had to buy a new one. It is the right thing to have shotguns, cowbells, circular saws, tin pans and every other known noisemaker. This racket has to be kept up until the gentleman and bride show themselves. He must pass cigars and she hands around candy or cake. Everyone is satisfied then, a good social time is had and we all wonder who'll be next. Woe be unto the man who fails to show up and set up. He'll be visited night after night with noise and finally branded a snob and a cheap screw.
It is an ornery custom but it has to be stood for out here. Everyone goes, girls and all. We always have a good time and generally land a very fair feed.
They had one north of here one night. Vivian went but I didn't. Someone stuck a fellow with a sharp stick and he jumped into a pail of swill. He has been constantly reminded of it ever since. He got married himself last night.
I hope you have a good time at the Soldier show. I know you will though. My head hasn't quite gone down yet at what you said when I left.
This letter is too long-drawn-out, nevertheless you owe me one.
Sincerely, Harry