Grandview, MO.
January 26, 1911
My Dear Bessie:
Don't you think Ethel was good to me? She gave me this stationery for Christmas. They always give me a necktie and a book or some stationery, and I give them a box of candy or something else that does not require much study. I positively know that I will get a necktie from them and they know the kind I like, so I don't have to buy one ever. You see a farmer don't need but one a year and he won't wear that out. You know when we have a "shindig" out here someone blows a horn and takes down a receiver on a pumpkin-vine phone and halloos in it and we all go. You know a pumpkin- vine phone is a ten-party line. When you want to use it you have to take down the receiver and listen while some good sister tells some other good sister who is not so wise how to make butter or how to raise chickens or when it is the right time in the moon to plant onion sets or something else equally important. About the time you think the world is coming to an end or some other direful calamity will certainly overtake you if you don't get to express your feelings into that phone, the good sister will quit, and then if you are quick and have a good, strong voice you can have your say; but you know confidently that everyone in the neighborhood has heard you. If someone would invent a contraption to shut out the other nine when a person wanted to use the tenth, he would be richer and more famous than Edison. But he'd be forever unpopular with us farmers for we'd never know each other's business.
They are endeavoring faithfully to better the farmers' condition though all the time. You know our friend Roosevelt appointed a country life commission to spend the extra cash in the U.S. Treasury. Some fellow with a good heart also invented a soup spoon that won't rattle. I know he had farmers in mind when he did that. Some other good fellow has invented peas that are cubes instead of spheres so they won't roll off the knife when you eat them. If I can get the seed I shall certainly raise them. It is very embarrassing to take up a nice big knife full of peas and carry it carefully to your mouth and then have the whole works roll off and go under the table, down your sleeve and neck and perhaps spoil someone's nice red tablecloth. You see, the man who invented cubic peas is a benefactor to the farmer. Now if someone would invent a fork with a spring, so you could press it and spear a biscuit at arm's length without having to reach over and incommode your neighbor - well he'd just simply be elected President, that's all.
Farmers get all kinds of experience in lots of things though besides the best table manners. This morning I was helping to dig a grave. It is not nearly such a sad proceeding as you'd think. There were six or seven of us, and we'd take turns at digging. Those who weren't digging would sit around and tell the one who was how it ought to be done and tell lies about the holes they'd dug and the hogs they'd raised. We spent a very pleasant forenoon and then went to the funeral. It was a Christian Science funeral. I never saw one before. They are very impressive. You know we have a cemetery in our front yard and some of us usually get to help dig the graves. Our front yard is a quarter of a mile long and about half as wide so you can see there is room for the cemetery without crowding.
I sincerely hope you won't get disgusted with my excuses for letters, for I sure do like to hear from you. I am glad you got to go skating. I should certainly have liked to see Mrs. Wiggs. Everyone who saw it says it was fine. Several from here went down. I think the Ne'er-Do-Well is fine, only I don't like the idea of falling in love with another man's frau. It always causes trouble, in books and out of them. It sounds too much like Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I do hope he'll behave himself for he seems to be a fine fellow. I wish Everybody's would come every day. I don't like to wait.
My father is doing fine thank you, and I think he'll walk in a short time by using crutches. I shall be in Kansas City next week sometime and if you have no objection or are not otherwise engaged I shall call up and come out in the evening.
Please don't be discouraged when you get here for I am going to quit, just read the signature then you'll know you owe me a letter and I am looking for it and I'll be satisfied. I am
Most sincerely,
Harry S. Truman