Grandview, Mo. January 12, I think [1912]
Dear Bessie,
My South Missouri Limited left Sheffield on the dot and was two hours late at Grandview, which I think is a record that would be hard to beat. There were only about twenty passengers and we had to do acrobatic stunts up and down the aisle and take turns at an old stove at one end of the car to keep warm. I didn't get cold, but there was a woman and a baby that did, at least the kid made a nose as if it was. Coming from the depot I really got too hot. You know I had a cap, mittens, and overshoes waiting for me and I walked as if His Majesty was behind me, which made me feel as if he was. Do you know they had quit looking for me and had eaten all the hot mince pie. That made me wish more than ever that I had stayed in Independence. Mary finally went and got me a piece that was cold and I managed to eat it. Just a half pie was all. Not all I ate-just all the pie I ate.
I have something I want to say now while it's on my mind. I think you look better in that black dress you wore Thursday evening than in anything I ever saw you wear. I intended telling you so when you wore it to the show in K.C. but the proper opportunity didn't appear. The strawberry blond isn't in it with you when you wear that dress. Or any other time for that matter. That sounds awful mushy don't it? It's not though when it is meant. Will you please tell me how you made that caramel dessert you had for dinner the time before this last when I was there? I can taste that from memory yet. It was undoubtedly nectar of the gods. I am going to coerce Mary into making me enough to founder on if you'll tell me how it's made.
How did Miss Jessie and Miss Dicie enjoy the show?
I guess the kids spread themselves on Friday night. I wish I'd stayed and gone again. It was so cold I had to postpone our Lodge meeting anyway. I really don't know what I am going to do if people take me for Mr. Brightman. I can't get over it some way. Aunt Ella said someone took me for Tom [illegible] when I was in Emery, Bird, Thayer's with Ethel just before Christmas. I really don't see what I've done to merit such treatment. Of course the other people may feel as badly over it as I do, but that doesn't help matters. How would you like to be taken for Miss Jennie? Really it will be dangerous to your good name to be seen out with me if they keep it up. I'll have to hock my overcoat and buy a black one and get a monocle for each eye, then I'll be a person all myself.
I just got a fine letter from Miss Maggie. She forgave me for not coming to her dinner party and said she'd give me a dinner yet and I need not take her to a show just because I didn't get there. I'm going to take her now, sure. Miss Maggie thinks too well of me, that is, she has too good an opinion of me. I wish she didn't. It's awful hard to live up to good opinions and do the right thing at the right time, especially when you have an insane desire to do something real ornery. I have always had that desire but never the nerve to put it over publicly yet. Some day perhaps I'll create a small stir among my friends and acquaintances by robbing the bank (the clock stopped when I wrote that) or doing some other Diamond Dick stunt. You know, I like adventure-when it's somebody else's adventure. I may even persuade you to run off with me someday when you're not in your right mind exactly.
Now you owe me a letter on the strength of that last statement if no other. Please send it along. The lawyer's coming tomorrow and Harry stays at home, so be sure and write.
Sincerely, Harry