Grandview, Mo. February 19, 1912
Dear Bessie,
This is an awful smear, but my Santa Fe de luxe stationery is on the wane and every sheet counts. Mary has just come in here like a cyclone. She says Vivian was going to dip her foot in the garbage bucket to sweeten it for the hogs (the garbage to be sweetened, not the foot). Mrs. Conrad said that word should be pronounced as garage-the spelling being practically the same. I agree with her.
What I want to say is, you owe me a letter and a half. Don't forget the half. I can always think of lots of nice things to say to people after leaving. Your friend surely has a fine, fine voice and it is very pleasing to hear, besides. I don't think I even mentioned the fact that I enjoyed her singing. It was a rattled condition, not a rude intention. You will remember that she and George had some smart remarks to make and I forgot what I had to say. I'd give four dollars for her accent. It's the best I ever heard. Still, for everyday listening, plain Missouri English can't be beaten. (Scratch off the en on beat.)
I found your fortune in my cough-drop box. I am enclosing it. You will notice that people with February birthdays have a quieting effect on the insane. I suppose that means those they have caused to become dippy. Don't you?
I think more of my stickpin every day. The card says it's your birthstone.
I was assistant wash lady again today. It is getting to be chronic with me. Papa went to Joplin this evening and I am boss. I made one of the hired men stay all night so he can get up at 5:00 a.m. and help do the feeding. I had rather be stung for two meals than do all that tearing around by myself so early in the morning. I am getting to be real aristocratic. It will take all summer's hard work to purge my soul of last year's loaf. I hope I never have to loaf with the same excuse. Please tell Miss Andrews I enjoyed her singing but just forgot to say so. I am dying for Thursday evening to arrive. I know we'll have a dandy time. I hope they won't use the same topic of conversation though they did before.
It pleases me mightily to be teased about you but I don't suppose you care to suffer the inconvenience on my account, and it's terribly embarrassing. Please send me the letter anyway, if you don't the half.
Sincerely, Harry